A Mindset coach can help you to turn negative feelings in positive ones
Sometimes your mindset needs some attention. Herewith a Mindset coach could support you. Humans are a social species. We cannot live in total isolation away from fellow human beings. Whatever we do, and even wear and eat, is heavily influenced by the company we keep. It therefore comes as no surprise that what others say and think about us matters a great deal to us. Of course, ‘others’ here means people who are important in our lives, such as family, friends, work colleagues, neighbours, any generally most people we interact with.
Opinions of others, even those walking down the street and those who see us in crowded markets and restaurants, can make us feel good or bad, depending on the remarks we get to hear or the looks we see.
People’s opinions of us can not only affect our mood but also our performance
It is natural for us to feel good when we are praised for our dress or hairstyle. For example we like it a lot when someone says we look good. On the other hand, even the smallest negative comment can greatly upset us. We tend to feel upset with the person who made the comment for a long time.
It isn’t only our emotions that are impacted by other people’s comments and perceptions of us. Psychologists and sociologists note that these perceptions can increase or decrease our self esteem.
These emotions can have a positive or negative impact on how well we perform at work. Negative comments for example can lower our efficiency at work but our productivity increases when we receive positive comments, which boost our self esteem. What others think about us also impacts our creative thinking abilities.
Human beings are always desirous of approval
From an early age, we seek others’ approval at home and at school. Doing what our parents, siblings, friends, fellow students, and teachers want us to do and approve of is a feeling that gets reinforced throughout a long passage of time. It is often associated with rewards and gifts.
We try to conform and do things that we believe will be accepted by our friends and relatives. Whenever we are wearing something that is bright or different from what we normally wear, we remain excited and wait for others’ comments.
We are happy when we are praised for our choice and our ego gets inflated when others say something good about our looks and personality. But this tendency to feel good or bad depending upon other people’s perceptions and comments is not good in the long run for our self esteem. By craving adulation and fearing criticism, we tend to accept behaviors, customs, dresses, foods, and other things, even if we don’t actually like them, deep down.
Lowering our self esteem
When we care too much about other people’s opinions of us, we can end up avoiding things we want to do for fear of being ridiculed by others. We might also avoid changing aspects of our lives because we fear being criticized for our choices.
Our self esteem can be lowered to a dangerous level. What others think or say about us can become more important than our own desires and perceptions. Our expectations of what others say or think can weigh heavily on our minds. It stops us from realizing our true potential. By example it can also create anxiety and induce feelings of insecurity and nervousness, which can consistently hamper our performance.
For these reasons, it is really important to break this cycle and stop giving a damn about what others think and say about us!
People love to gossip
You can’t stop people from making comments. However people love to gossip. But you can stop worrying about the negative comments of people who will comment on anything, however small or insignificant.
Another way to stop thinking about other people’s comments is to remember that ‘hurt people cause hurt to others’. Yes, it’s namely a fact that those who make comments on others are themselves hurt by other people’s comments. So, why pay attention to the mumblings of people who are themselves worried of the mumblings of others?
At times, the negative comments made by others might be justified. Maybe you wore an outfit that defied logic or was considered bad taste! However, you don’t need to feel embarrassed or develop guilt about your behavior. This namely sends a negative signal to your brain every time you do something considered different to the norm. You will then stop even trying to experiment or be creative for fear of being mocked.
Don’t give a damn because others probably don’t give a damn what you’re thinking!
There is absolutely no need to think about what others are thinking or saying about you. You are not special – these people probably make negative comments about everyone they meet! People do not spare celebrities or political leaders, and make negative comments about them at the drop of a hat. Why give undue importance to these people’s comments? In fact, you should think only about your own feelings and not give a damn to what others think or say about you.
It’s impossible to please everyone. We need to learn to take negative opinions of us in our stride and live life on our own terms, with high self love and self esteem.